Why Do I Keep Hitting Myself Over The Head With A Hammer?

Because it feels so good when I stop…..

A lot of people have probably heard this phrase before. Meredith said it in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy once. When I first heard it I wasn’t sure what she meant but the more and more I thought I about what she said, I finally got it.

As women we do things, certain things, over and over again that usually cause us some sort of grief or pain and more often than not it involves a man. It can be anything from waiting for a date or sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring and usually once these things happen a sense of relief washes over us but the catch is as the high wears off from that encounter slowly but surely we start the cycle…..all….over….again. Hence, hitting ourselves over the head with the hammer.

These blows to the head can come in many different forms these are a few:

  • Sending text messages waiting for and receiving no response for hours or sometimes days, or worse, not at all. And when it finally does it’s a one word response: “HI” or “Hey”
  • Placing endless phones calls that go unanswered for days at a time.
  • A subtle exchange of emails or tweets that get ignored or when answered are very short and one-sided.
  • Promises of a returned phone call that doesn’t happen. At least not within the same 72-hours it was promised.
  • Plans of another date or spending time together that seems to never come.
They say love, or the lack of it, will make you do crazy things and the older I get the more I see this statement holds some truth. It can make you see things that aren’t there are or see people in a light that isn’t necessarily a good one but one that suits you at the time. All in an effort to stop hitting yourself upside the headThink Me Strange with the hammer. But I wouldn’t classify it so much as crazy as I would a want to have someone in your life. I don’t think anyone likes being alone and because of that fact we as women put up with a lot and in an effort to fill that void we get so little in return. What we really need to ask ourselves is this: is it worth it? Is the stress and strain from the repeated blows of the hammer worth an emotionless text that may or may not come or the two-minute phone conversation with no plans of another in sight? I will be the first to admit, I have sent texts the night before, sleeping with my phone by my side, only to wake up the next morning disappointed to find no response and I’m sure I’m not the only one woman to have done this. Just like I’m sure there a plenty of women who have rode cloud nine through a date  with a man only to have that cloud crash to the ground when they don’t see him again for weeks and are only left with unanswered texts and phone calls promising “we’ll hook up soon”.
So at what point is it okay to put down the hammer? Or are we destined to beat ourselves silly searching for a high that may or may not ever come again?

About Relationship Diva

Your sweetest dream and your most beautiful nightmare....

Posted on 09/16/2011, in Emo Thoughts, Rants and Raves, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. I just found your blog today and I loved this one. I wrote about something similar recently… Why Women Love Assholes. It’s the same idea. But even recognizing when we’re being dysfunctional over a man doesn’t make it easy to stop waiting for that phone to light up. Great post!

    • You’re right women do put ourselves through the ringer for men at times. Hopefully a light bulb will come on eventually and some of that power will start to shift. Thank you for commenting! I’m glad you found me! I’m now following your blog. Hope you’ll come back and visit soon!

  2. I understand this post isn’t meant to be funny, but I’m over here in tears. Not only is this post TRUTH, but it reminds me of many of my female relatives who I love dearly, but haven’t quite put the hammer down.

    Good read.

  3. spicybluecookie

    I’m so loving this post cos it truly speaks the truth about what we go through. I once waited on my phone for over two weeks for a particular guy to call after giving the impression of being really interested. I ended up deleting his number though out of anger but I think it was good for me

    • Don’t feel bad, I think every woman has been there. I have been there too! Sometimes it’s for the best to just purge everything, including the number out of your phone, if it means it will help you move past a negative feeling or experience. Remember if it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t. Keep your head up! It was his loss! 🙂

  4. Oh, my dear girl, do not give up hope but don’t waste your expectations on someone who is not worthy of you. Be more picky. The one who will love you the best may be totally different from the one you are waiting for now. (sighhh) .

  5. Very good post, I was looking all day just for this information and just got it here, many thanks for sharing it.

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  6. WOW This was a really strong and meaningful blog! I can relate to this in past relationships and many other walks of life. Ladies, it’s time we get it together!!!! Love it!

  7. If it helps any, women are not the only sex who have experienced this phenomenon…

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